Sandy Bottom(s)

Today’s story involves a couple of guys that I picked up at the start of my day.  But first, let me go back a few steps and explain how I begin most of my shifts.

When I head out, if it’s before 8pm then I always go get a car wash and vacuum everything out.  Front, back, and trunk.  I wipe down the seats with lemon cleaner wipes and make sure everything’s nice and clean.  If I think that I’m not going to make it out before 8pm (that’s when the car wash closes), then I will do it at the end of my shift so either way, at the beginning the Jeep is nice and cleaned.

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It was the air freshener (srsly)

Today I had another interesting pickup.

I had a pickup over in the Eastown area tonight so I headed over to the pickup on Ethel street.  I pulled up to the house and there was several people outside on the porch steps drinking and smoking pot (from the smell of it.)  The girl sauntered outside with the swagger of a 100 shots of liquor and up to my Jeep.  She struggled to open the door to the point that I almost got out to open the door for her.  She gets in, and immediately she asks about my car freshener and tells me if she throws up it’s because of that and not because she’s drunk, while she’s frantically rolling the window down as quickly as possible.  Like, she literally said that.  So i told her what kind it was as I pulled it out of the vent grill and set it aside on the odd chance it was really true.  She then informs me that yes, she’s definitely allergic to that brand and she’s definitely going to puke because of it.  I started off towards her house because it wasn’t very far away, only about 5 minutes.  She spent the entire time assuring me that she wasn’t drunk and that it was the air fresher, even after I assured her I had removed it.

Sure, Girl.

Thankfully we arrived puke free and my puke free streak holds.

She got out of the car, and you won’t believe what happened next!

Somebody mentioned that it was “just like me” to post clickbait so I just had to use that title lol.

So, as promised, I have a story from last night’s driving that is a doosey.  I picked up this lady today from out in the 68th and Division area.  I was already a bit nervous about the pickup because I drove about 15 minutes from across town and it seems many times when I do those pickups where I drive 15-20 minutes to pick somebody up it’s always a very short drop off.  So I pull up in front of her house and wait about 4 minutes and she finally saunters out.  Immediately the red flags start going off because she comes out side and sits down in her lawn chair and starts having a cigarette.  She then after she smokes for 2-3 minutes she finally starts stumbling towards the Jeep.  At this point i’m not really sure if she’s drunk or it’s because she’s an older woman, although I’m definitely leaning towards her being drunk because of how long she’s been taking.  So she climbs in which ends up being a several minute process in of itself because she can’t get her little chihuahua to jump up into the Jeep.  She gets in and almost immediately things start going downhill.

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